


Another Knife in my Hands

by xxProudoftheScarsxx



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Hooker!Frank, M/M, Possible triggering, assassin!Gerard, frerard!au, selfharm!Frank, the other boys aren't in it don't hate me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-15 06:25:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2219154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxProudoftheScarsxx/pseuds/xxProudoftheScarsxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard is a hit man, the best in the business. He really has no conscience and doesn't give two shits who he kills.<br/>Frank is a hooker who hates himself, and takes it out on himself the moment his monthly quota is filled.<br/>What will happen when Gerard is hired to kill Frank, and ends up falling for his target?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Keep a Book of the Names

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS  
> Okay, sorry about the multiple POV changes in this first chapter, but I felt like they were important to introduce the characters. There will be a lot less POV changes in future chapters, and they will be longer. Hope you like it!  
> Disclaimer: As much as I would love to, I don't own these boys, and this story is completely fictional.

Gee POV  
Stepping into the elevator, I wiped the blood off my blade and slid my knife back in it's sheath. The doors opened and I strutted confidently out the lobby of the Hotel De La Muerte.  
Another job successfully completed, without leaving a trace. I may be expensive, but I get shit done. 

Frank POV  
I watched my client walk out the door and let slip a sigh of relief. I climbed off the bed and walked to the bathroom, examining myself in the mirror. This one was definitely a dominatrix. I let the tears fall as I examined the fresh bruises blossoming over my torso. I slid down to the floor and held my head in my hands, filled with self hatred. He was my last client this month, so I didn't have to worry about looking pretty anymore...  
Opening the bathroom cabinet, I grabbed by favorite blade, turning it over in my hands. Oh, how I had missed this. There truly was something romantic about self destruction. I felt so numb that this pain, watching myself bleed, was so beautiful, so satisfying. I pressed the blade to my hip and made a shallow cut, just enough to cause a sharp sting, and a small smile crept onto my face. Again and again, deeper and deeper, until the smiles turned back to tears and the temporary fix turned back into hatred.  
I mopped up the blood a bit and climbed in the shower, washing off the remnants from my customer and letting the hot water sting the fresh cuts littering my hips and thighs. Pulling on my loosest pair of boxers, I changed my sheets, literally falling into bed. I had work in the morning. Fuck. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll die in my sleep... At least if I'm dead I won't have to worry about next month's quota. 

Gee POV  
I opened the door to my apartment and crashed on the couch. Picking up the notebook I had thrown haphazardly on the floor this morning, I crossed Bert McCracken off the list. He was so easy, it almost lost that quality of sick and twisted fun that I lived for (and my targets died for).  
Toeing off my shoes, I set my notebook and knife down on the table and wiggled around on the couch a bit to get comfortable, preparing for a long overdue and well deserved nap. I had almost drifted to sleep when my phone rang. "Damn it..." I muttered sleepily, feeling around for my phone. "Hello?" I answered groggily.  
"This Gerard? Gerard Way?"  
"Mmhmm, yeah... Uh, that's me," I answered slowly, still not completely awake.  
"Listen, I got a job for you, someone I need you to... take care of, if you know what I mean. I want you to check him out and then call me back at this number with your answer," the voice demanded.  
"That's what I do," I replied with sarcastic enthusiasm. "So who is this guy?"  
"His name is Frank Iero."


	2. Pull the Plug, But I'd Like to Learn Your Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank falls out of bed and Gerard marvels and his perfection, not to mention his taste in comic books.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just on a writing kick right now, so who knows how many chapter's we will have by the end of the day!

Frank POV  
I woke from my nightmare with a start as I felt my body collide with the cold floor, each of my bruises screaming with pain. Always a great way to start of the morning. Glancing up at the clock I saw that it was barely five in the morning. "Fuck..." I moaned, pulling myself off the floor. I didn't have to be up for another hour, but there was no way I was getting back to sleep now.   
Stumbling to the bathroom I stripped off my boxers and reexamined yesterday's damage. The bruises were darker than I remembered, my torso literally painted black and blue. I looked like some kind of fucked up Jackson Pollock painting. The cuts were swollen and red, the worst of them scanned over. I turned quickly away from the mirror, not being able to bear looking at myself anymore. I dressed in my typical work clothes: black skinnies, a Smashing Pumpkin's tee, black Converse, a worn dark wash jean jacket with rolled up sleeves, and a smudge of eyeliner. My day job allowed for a much more casual wardrobe.   
I grabbed a few random dollars from the floor that had fallen out of last night's client's pockets and my keys off the nightstand and trudged out door, beginning my daily long and miserable walk to work. 

Gee POV  
I strolled into the mall, feeling lucky that my latest target worked at a place I knew well, Belleville Comics. It was kinda shit that I was gonna have to kill a fellow comic lover though, because those were rare nowadays. I spotted the entrance to the shop and found a bench with a good view of the front counter to get a look at my target.   
The boy that I saw instantly took my breath away. He had soft olive skin and a floppy black Mohawk with the sides died red. ~I just want to run my hands all over him.~ His eyes were huge, at times appearing green, brown, or even gold when the light hit them just right. He had full, red lips, and I was close enough to see the glint of a lip ring. ~Oh I would love to know what those lips felt like pressed to mine.~ It looked like he had a nose ring too. A scorpion tattoo peeked out of the collar of his flannel, and his forearms were covered in tattoos. ~Tracing those tattoos with my tongue, that would be fun.~ But this guy was tiny. He couldn't have been more than 5'3". ~He would probably make a great small spoon...~ He was completely adorable and innocent looking, but so damn sexy at the same time. I feel my pants beginning to tighten. ~Why the hell did I pick today to wear my tightest jeans?~  
Wait what? What the fuck was I thinking?! He is my mission, nothing more. I need to focus. Think about saggy old lady legs, will down the tent in my pants before someone (Frank) notices. Shitshitshit, he's looking at me. Since when do I get so nervous?  
I took a minute to calm myself down, and used the fact that he was quite obviously checking me out too to boost my confidence. I stood up, and with a shaky breath, willed myself walk into the store. I sauntered over to the counter, swaying my hips a bit more than necessary. I saw Franks eyes drop to my ass and knew it had the desired effect. Leaning forward against the counter, I smiled, "Hey."  
"Uhhh, hey," he smiled back shyly, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. "Can I help you?"  
"Yes, in fact I think you can. You see, I've read every comic I own at least fifteen times each, and I just need something new to read. Got any recommendations?" I bit my lip and looked at him with innocent eyes.   
He looked as if he was deep in thought over this, and it was pretty damn adorable. "Mmmm... Have you read the Doom Patrol comics? They are pretty good; my favorite actually..." he shrugged.   
"No fucking way! I own every Doom Patrol in existence! They are my favorite too!" I bounced on my toes a little bit, actually genuinely excited.   
"Well if you own every Doom Patrol comic, why the hell would you need anything more?" Frank smirked up at me, showing off his lip ring more prominently.  
I smirked right back. "I don't actually. I just needed a good excuse to come in and talk to the hot employee at the counter," I winked. He turned an adorable shade of red and looked down with a small smile. "I was just dying to ask if he would want to go to coffee with me after his shift or something like that..." My method was simple, I seduced my victims and then did my job. But somehow, this already felt different. Frank was actually a cool (not to mention totally sexy) guy.   
Frank looked up to meet my gaze and grinned. "My shift ends at noon-" he stuck out his hand, "and I'm Frank."  
"Gerard-" I smiled even wider, shaking his small hand. "Meet you here at noon then!" With that, I turned on my heels and power walked out the door. I was in desperate need of a smoke right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is total shit haha, but kudos and comments are much appreciated if you do happen to enjoy it so far. You can contact me a proudofthescarsxo@gmail.com for anything or for no fucking reason at all! Love all you beautiful peoples xx


	3. I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee and honestly (at least for one of them)...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it isn't obvious, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge is a driving force in my life and the inspiration for this fic...

Frank POV  
What the actual fuck. That did not just happen. Hot as hell guys just don't hit on me. This is new... I stared off into the empty shop, daydreaming about Gerard.   
Damn, that guy is good looking. His skin is smooth and pale, a stark contrast to his shaggy jet black hair. ~I want to put my hands in that hair.~ He has gorgeous hazel eyes that convey so much emotion, not to mention that jaw structure and his sharp cheekbones. ~Those probably taste really good.~ He has a cute pixie nose. His lips are plump, pink, pretty and perfectly shaped. ~I bet those are nice and soft.~ He was wearing tight jeans that hug his legs (not to mention his ass) in all the right places. His Misfit's shirt accentuated his lovely hips. ~I am really glad I am standing behind a counter right now. Thank fuck no one ever comes in here.~ When he shook my hand, my whole body felt like it was on fire. His hand was warm and calloused, with what looked like ink on the fingertips. ~I would love to put that hand to a few other uses.~  
But shit, once he finds out that I'm a motherfucking hooker, he won't want anything to do with me. I'm a worthless shit is what I am. I ran my fingertips over my hips, where my jeans were tight against my cuts and let out an almost silently hiss of pain. This is what I deserved, not a coffee date with a guy like Gerard. I had to be honest with him.   
I watched the clock anxiously waiting for noon to roll around. My fingers itched for a blade, a cigarette, anything to distract myself from what I knew was coming.   
A few minutes before my shift ended, my replacement showed up and took over. I sat down on the same bench Gerard had been on earlier, trying to piece together words to express what I was trying to convey. My breath hitched in my throat as I saw him swaggering towards me with that fabulous ass of his. No going back now.   
"Hey Frank," he smiled, taking a seat next to me. "You ready to go?"  
"I, uh, I, um.... yeah," I sputtered, with a fake smile. Okay, so maybe I was going to procrastinate a bit. So what?  
Being the gentleman that he was, Gerard opened doors for me, pulled out a chair for me to sit on, ordered for me, and paid for my drink. This motherfucker was making it really difficult to push him away. After we were seated and sipping our coffees, I cleared my throat. "Uh, there's something I have to tell you Gee..." Okay, I just called him a nickname right before spilling my shit. Smooth, Frank.   
"Shoot," he said with a smirk, but his eyes were kind.  
Reaching up to scratch my neck, I could feel a blush starting at my neck and rising to my cheeks. "I, well uh.... I'm a fucking hooker okay? I'm a prostitute. You probably won't ever want to talk to me again and that's fine because I know it's despicable and I hate it but I really don't have a choice and-"  
"Frank!" Gerard looked at me with a gentle smile.   
"...yeah?" I mumbled, staring deep into the very soul of my latte.   
"It's fine. I won't judge you. You seem like a really great guy, and I want to get to know you. And I mean, you are pretty damn adorable, so..." he put his hand over mine and gave it a squeeze.   
Is he for real? Is this guy like a fucking angel or something? That was not the reaction I was expecting at all. I pushed my hair back with my other hand, not wanting to break contact with Gerard. "Are you sure? I mean I would hate me. I do hate me," I chuckled bitterly.   
"I am pretty fucking sure, yeah," he giggled. FUCKING. GIGGLED. It was the most adorable sound I think I have ever heard. I believe my insides literally melted. Turning serious again, he looked at me intently, "But you shouldn't hate yourself. Really, there is a lot to like about you. I wish you could see that."  
I turned redder than I ever knew was possible, and we slipped back into casual conversation. I discovered that Gerard was an artist (that explained the ink) who desperately wanted to give me a ride home, because it "pains me to think about poor little Frankie having to walk home alone."  
Somebody pinch me please. 

Gerard POV  
Shit. I am getting way too into this. I make it my policy not to become too involved. I can't become emotionally attached to this beautiful, charming, funny, bubbly, broken and damaged boy. But I think it's too late for that now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it... Kudos and comments are much appreciated! You motherfuckers are my favorites xxx


	4. He's Got a Life of His Own (And It Shows by the Bed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard defends Frank and koala style hugs ensue...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments! It's 1 in the fucking morning, and I am doing this because I love you, so don't judge me xxx

Gee POV  
I honestly don't know why I offered Frank a ride home after coffee. I didn't plan on finishing the job today. Hell, I hadn't even confirmed with my currently anonymous client that I would take the job. This wouldn't benefit me any, except for possibly earning his trust. I would not allow myself to give in to the thought that it was because I liked Frank. I didn't. I can't like him. It would complicate shit way too much, and I had a good thing going.   
I ran ahead to open the passenger door for Frank, feeling the irrepressible need to impress him with my charm. "Hop in, Princess," I smirked.  
He clambered in, attempted to stick out his bottom lip and pout, but couldn't repress the blush and smile stretching across his face. "I'm pretty sure that out of the two of us, you would be the princess, Gerard. I mean, look at those fabulous flowing locks," he said, reaching up to tug on a strand of my hair.  
"Ha ha, very funny," I replied sarcastically, wrinkling up my nose and sticking my tongue out at him. Slamming his door shut, I raced around to climb into the driver's seat. I started the car and turned to Frank. "So where are we headed, Cinderella?" I asked with a wink.  
"Fuck you!" he sighed, adorably blowing his fringe out of his face. Amidst our playful and flirtatious banter, he managed to help me locate his apartment, which given my shit sense of direction, was truly an accomplishment. To say I was unimpressed with what I saw would be an understatement. The apartments were part of one large building, with holes in the walls and the paint peeling. The roof was sagging terribly, and one of the doors looked like it had been recently kicked in. The characters hanging around outside were sketchy as fuck (but I'm not really one to talk I guess). I was horrified that cute little Frankie was living in a rundown hellhole like this.  
I asked Frank which apartment was his, and he gestured towards the one on the end, next to the kicked in door. I noticed Frank tense up as he surveyed the scene before us, which made me nervous. He leaned over to give me a quick peck on the cheek (which did not at all give me a flurry of fucking dragons in my stomach) and muttered a quick goodbye as he got out of the car quickly. Stiff as a board, he speed walked towards his apartment. Something was obviously wrong.  
I had just opened my window to yell after him and make sure he was okay when I noticed that someone had made their way to Frank's door before him. A middle-aged balding man with a beer belly and a sneer was standing with his arms crossed, blocking the door entirely. I could see Frank darting glances between me and the man, who I had an immediate dislike for. If he had that affect on my princess, he better watch the fuck out. (Damn, for knowing him only a few hours, I was quite possessive and protective. What can I say? He just has that affect on me, I guess.)  
Through my open window, I could hear the dialogue between Frankie and the distasteful stranger.  
"Hey there, my little whore," the man slurred. I balled up my fists in anger.  
"What do you want, Gabe?" Frank asked quietly, managing to put a little force and a bit of venom behind his words.  
"Isn't it obvious baby?" he asked with a sickening smile, exposing a missing tooth. "I wanna fuck you so hard you go through the mattress and walk with a bow in your step for weeks, Iero." I was seething, my jaw clenched so tightly I thought my teeth might shatter.  
Frank stood up a little straighter. "No," he said. "I've filled my quota for the month. I'm done. Now please move so I can get into my apartment."  
"Aw don't be like that, hooker," Gabe said, obviously frustrated. He made a step towards Frank. "I always get what I want, you know that..."  
I couldn't take it anymore. Slamming the car door, I stormed over to Gabe and grabbed him by the shoulders, yanking him around to face me. I leaned in as close as I could bear and kept a tight grip, putting as much intimidation and disdain as I could muster into every word. "Listen up, bastard. I don't like the way you are talking to Frank, and I really don't like you thinking you get to touch him, at all, ever, because you don't you son of a birch. If I ever see you so much as speak to him or lay a finger on him again, I will personally hunt you down and suffocate you with your own pillow in your sleep. Are we clear?" He nodded dumbly and frantically stumbled off to find someone else to harass.  
I turned to look at Frank. "Are you okay?" I asked him softly.  
He stood staring at his toes for a minute, and after looking up at me for a second, launched himself on me in an adorable koala style hug. "Thank you so much, Gee," he sighed, the words being muffled a bit by my shirt. "I don't know what I would have done without you."  
I gently tilted his face up to look at mine. "Any time Frank," I smiled down at him. On a playful note I added, "So I will be expecting a custom designed cape and full comic book series by the end of the week."  
"Like hell," Frank snorted, stepping back from the embrace. "Well, I should probably be going in now."  
I surprised myself by speaking up. "How about you crash at mine for the night, so we can be sure Gabe is really gone," I suggested. "My couch folds out and everything! Gotta make sure my princess is safe, you know."  
"Really?! Thank you so much Gerard! You are truly too amazing to be real!" he beamed up at me. If only you knew how fake I truly was Frankie. What would you think of me then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments much appreciated xxx You da best bitches ever!


	5. The Kind of Dirty Where the Water Never Cleans Off the Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff ensues, and deep shit is revealed. Gerard makes his choice.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING  
> MENTIONS OF RAPE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I meant to update earlier. I had a killer hangover this morning. Fireball is my weakness. Hope you like the chapter!

Frank POV

Gerard gave me a few minutes to dash inside my apartment to grab clothes and shit. I honestly couldn't believe he invited me to stay at his place for the night. It would be so nice to escape this shithole, if only for a little while. Too many shitty memories here. With luck, I might even avoid my nightmares for the first night in ages. I sighed dramatically. Could he be any more amazing? I snagged my backpack from my tiny closet and threw in a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants, which made my ass look pretty cute. I even picked up the few horror movies I happened to own. Luckily, he loved horror films almost even more than I did. As much as I knew Gerard would hate it if he knew, I couldn't resist packing my favorite razor blade. Hopefully he would never find out. I couldn't bear his disappointment. 

Putting a smile back on my face, I quite gayly skipped out my front door, stopping quickly to lock it, and then pranced over to where Gerard was leaned against his car posed like a model. "Honestly Gee, thank you so much. No one has ever been this nice to me before, especially not someone with hips like those," I winked at him cheekily. He rolled his eyes and I continued, "I wish there was some way I could repay you, Charming."

He giggled and flushed an adorable shade of pink. "I'm sure we can figure out something," he grinned, returning my wink. We got in the car and was quiet for the first few minutes of the drive. I saw his face slowly form a small smile as he glanced over at me. "Charming, huh?" 

"Yeah! If you get to call me Princess and Cinderella, you get to be my Prince Charming!" I spouted, defending my new nickname for him, which I was actually quite proud of. 

"Okay, okay! Charming it is," he laughed, pulling into the parking lot of a much nicer apartment complex than my own. There were two stories, the paint was actually staying on the building, and the roof wasn't caving dangerously, threatening to crush it's inhabitants at the smallest gust of wind. I felt a slight twinge of jealousy but immediately dismissed the feeling. Gerard was being more than generous to me, and I was nothing but grateful. Well, and maybe a bit lustful too, but that was besides the point. 

He insisted on running in ahead of me to "clean up all the random shit that is currently covering every available surface in my entire fucking apartment so you won't be disgusted with me and never so much as look at me again." Psh, like that could ever happen. When I was finally allowed inside, I was more than impressed. All of the walls are painted a dark red, and all of the furniture is black. There are sketches littering the counter and the coffee and end tables, and I began to pick up a few and look at them. Gruesome zombies, battered corpses, bloodied vampires, cemeteries, everything dark and haunting image you could think up is drawn, and many times over. "Gerard," I breathed. "These are fucking amazing! I had no idea you were this good!" 

I turned to look at him and saw him gazing intently at the ground, with a small smile and pink cheeks. I admired the view of bashful Gerard for a moment before a picture on the wall behind him captured my interest. It depicted a procession of gaunt and bruised people with hollow eyes and gaping mouths in hospital gowns, with a ghoulish parade float in the lineup after every few people. Leading them was a skeleton wearing an old fashioned marching band costume wielding a baton. I was so mesmerized by the drawing that I didn't even notice Gerard had come up behind me until he spoke, his hot breath tickling my ear. "Do you like it?" he whispered. 

"I love it," I said, turning to grin at him, our faces barely an inch apart. "What's the meaning behind it?"

"Well, I believe that death isn't something to be feared. I think it is something to be welcomed, something that, in our last moments, is actually gentle and kind and desirable. I see it in almost a romantic sense," he sighed, gesturing towards the drawing. "The leader of the parade is Death, and he is lovingly guiding those who are soon to pass on into their eternal sleep."

My eyes were wide with amazement at how deep the inspiration for this piece truly was. "Woah. That is beautiful." I let out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding. "So, where should I set down my stuff?"

Gerard kindly helped me get situated and transform the couch into an incredibly comfortable bed. After changing into our pajamas (his happily being only a pair of sweatpants, giving me the freedom to drink in his smooth, pale chest), we decided on watching Dawn of the Dead, a mutual favorite. I curled up comfortably on one side of the couch-turned-bed and he did the same, our feet tangling together and sending shock waves through my body. By the time the movie ended, it was obvious we were both exhausted. 

Gerard stood up and stretched, giving a moan that caused a slight rush of blood to my pants. I quickly willed it down, thinking about boobs and other various girl parts. Ew. I very awkwardly crawled off the couch and just stood there for a minute, shuffling my feet around a bit. I looked up when Gerard said my name, and saw he had arms outstretched towards me. 

A hug. 

His shirtless self wants to hug me. 

I scampered over to him as quickly as my little legs would allow and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his naked chest and splaying my hands out over the small of his back. He was warm and cozy, and I felt like I could stay just like this forever and be happy. It was obvious he was enjoying the hug too, because we stayed that way for a minute before he loosened his grip on me and I stepped away. "Good night Princess," he said with a smirk. 

"Sweet dreams Charming," I winked at him a tugged on a piece of his hair. He giggled and made his way to the bedroom. As I watched him disappear through the doorway, I knew only one of us was going to be having sweet dreams tonight. 

Gee POV

I was jolted awake by the sound of a scream coming from the living room, followed by muffled crying. Shit, Frankie! Jumping out of bed I shot out my bedroom door and over to the couch, where I found Frank curled up in fetal position, softly weeping. He noticed my presence and glanced up at me embarrassed. "Sorry to wake you, Gee," he sniffled. "I'm fine. You can go back to bed if you want." 

Settling myself down next to him, I pulled the smaller man into my lap and held him tightly. "I'm not going to leave you like this, baby," I whispered gently. "What's wrong Princess?"

He gave a tiny chuckle at the nickname. "It's nothing," he insisted, looking up to meet my eyes. "Just a nightmare is all." 

"That wasn't just any old nightmare Frankie and you know it. You wanna tell me about it?" I asked firmly but kindly. What was up with me? I was never the caring. Could I be falling for Frank after such a short time?

I could feel him fidgeting nervously under my gaze. "Um, well, you see," he stuttered. With a sigh of anger and exasperation, he began again. "When I was in junior high, my mom left us. My dad was angry and he didn't know how to deal with it. He began taking it out on me, beating me and raping me violently. One day, one of his friends happened to encounter this in progress, and my dad discovered that people would pay him to rape me. After a while he forced me into the sex trade, and I have been a hooker ever since. He eventually got bored with it and disappeared. I always have nightmares about him finding me and hurting me again."

I was once again seething with anger. I may have killed people, but I didn't drag it out torturously, and they deserved it most of the time. To purposely cause someone innocent that much pain and grief was sick. There was absolutely no way in the world I was taking this job. I had a new one now: protecting Frank from whoever got hired in my place. Good luck getting past me, bitches. 

"You are safe with me, Cinderella," I promised, leaning down to kiss him on the nose, which earned me a tiny smile. I easily picked Frank up and carried him to my bed. Setting him down, I shimmied under the covers and snuggled myself up to him, putting an arm over his stomach. "You are safe here, Frankie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated! And if you have any genius ways of curing a hangover, I would love to know for future reference! (And no, "don't drink" is not an acceptable answer all you sarcastic birches like myself out there) xx


	6. And They Found You On the Bathroom Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serious trigger warnings
> 
> Gerard confesses his original motives to Frank, and he can't handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been listening to Cemetery Drive over and over. Can you tell?

Frank POV

I woke up early in the morning to find myself in Gerard's bed, with the beautiful motherfucker himself pressed up against my back with an arm around my waist and his face buried in my hair. I could scarcely feel his heart beat and his breath against my ear. I leaned back against him slightly, closing my eyes and breathing in the scent that was Gerard: coffee, cigarettes, and a cologne that managed to have a manly feel to it while almost smelling like apples. I remembered his words from last night, and could almost feel him kissing my nose again. "You are safe here, Frankie." For the first time in years, I felt like that was true. 

Shifting slightly so that I put my arm over his and get even closer to him (if that were even physically possible at this point), I sighed contentedly, closing my eyes and drifting back into a dreamless sleep. 

As the sun shone brightly through the windows, I felt Gerard begin to stir a bit behind me, and noticed him tightening his grip on my waist, burying his face into my neck. I couldn't help but giggle at the feeling of his face against my neck, and rolled over so that I was facing him. His eyes were bleary and barely open, but he managed a small, sleepy smile. "Morning Princess," he mumbled. 

"Morning Charming," I said brightly, flashing him a huge toothy grin. "Got anything to eat? I'm staaaaarrrrrving Gerard!" I reached up and shook his shoulder around for emphasis, putting on my puppy dog eyes and sticking out a pouty lip. 

He tilted his face down to kiss my nose with his soft, pink lips. "Okay Frankie, calm down," he replied with fake seriousness. "Just give me a minute and I will throw together some pancakes for my damsel in distress." 

"Thank you thank you thank you!!!!" I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck. He giggled in that adorable way of his, and gently pried me off of him so that he could fulfill his pancake promise. 

I watched Gerard's pixie nose scrunch up as he concentrates on perfecting his pancakes, and hopped up on the counter next to him. "Uh, listen Gee," I reached up to scratch the back of my neck feeling slightly awkward and shifting my eyes around the room, "I just really wanted to thank you for last night. You didn't have to do that, but I was really sweet and you and I appreciate it a lot." I let my gaze land on him to find him giving me a gentle smile. 

"Anytime, Frankie baby," he said sincerely. "I will always be here for you, Cinderella." As I watched him though, the smile slowly faded from his face, and the sparkle fell from his eyes, replaced with something much darker. He stood up straighter and walked over so that he was practically standing between my legs. "I have to tell you something, Frank," he said, completely serious, all joking gone from his tone. "You aren't going to like it, and I'm sorry..."

I was incredibly nervous at this point. "Wh-what is it Gee?"

He took a deep breath and let it out shakily, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hand. I almost swore I saw tears in his eyes. "Frank, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"You're scaring me, Gerard. Please, just tell me."

"Well you see, I, uh, I'm a hitman. And the reason we actually first met yesterday was because someone wanted to hire me to, uh, get rid of you."

"What the actual fuck Gerard?!" I yelled, pulling my knees up to my chest, tears flowing freely down both our faces now. "You are planning to kill me?! And you are fucking telling me this?!" 

"I'm sorry Frank! I turned them down though!"

"To think that I thought I could actually feel safe with someone for once, and all this time you were lying to me!" 

"I'm sorry Frank! I am so sorry!" he was weeping now. "I meant everything I said. As soon as I started getting to know you I knew there was no way I could do it. I really do like you Frankie. I really do want to keep you safe. Please, you have to believe me. I care about you Frank...."

I was screaming now, my voice raw with pain and anger. "And I'm supposed to believe that?! How the hell do I know you aren't trying to lull me into some false sense of security or shit? Gerard, somebody was going to pay you to kill me, and you were going to do it 'until you got to know me'! How can I trust anything you say to me?!" I shoved myself off the counter and pushed my way past him. He began to follow me and I turned sharply to face him. "No, Gerard! I'm leaving right now. Leave me the fuck alone! You have no idea what I'm feeling right now. I can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for you, for all this. I understand your Black Parade now, Gerard. It helps to you cope with the guilt! Fuck you!" 

I stormed over to the couch and began packing my shit as fast as possible. I had to get out of here. Something brushed my arm, and I glanced up to find Gerard standing there. "You have to listen to me, Frank. Since I turned down the job, they are gonna hire someone else. You aren't safe. You have to stay here and let me protect you." he said gravely. 

"I'll take my chances," I growled through my tears, and brushed past him, throwing open the front door. 

As I walked out, I could scarcely hear Gerard whisper after me, "I'm sorry."

I cried openly on my walk home, not caring who saw. My heart was broken in ways I never knew it could be. I had thought that I meant something to Gerard, even after just a short time, but really he just got close so he could kill me. I had opened up to him about shit I had never told anyone. And to still try and convince me he cared? It was so cruel and painful. Not to mention the fact that there was someone out there who wanted me dead, and I had no idea who or why. This was too much. I don't think there is any way I was recovering from this pain. It would be far better off if I just helped out whoever wanted me dead and finished the job myself. I hated this life anyways. I almost smiled as I trudged the last few steps to my apartment, thinking to myself that I would never have to make that walk again. 

Throwing my backpack on the bed, I fished the razor blade out and grinned bitterly as I watched it gleam, catching the sunlight beaming through my thin curtains. I savored the fact that I wouldn't have to spend another night in this shithole, would never have to bring another customer here. Hell, I would never have another customer at all. I began to grow anxious, ready to get this all over with. I shuffled to the bathroom, a single tear running down my cheek for what might have been, the rest restrained because of what was. 

I sunk to the floor unceremoniously. Thoughts of Gerard flashed through my mind and left me with a grim determination that I would never deal with hurt like this again. I rolled up the sleeves of my hoodie, giving a few quick cuts on either wrist, to get a last taste of self-inflicted pain, sweeter than any I had ever known. I set my face and made the two large gashes I knew would end my life. I could feel the blood rushing out of me, crimson and beautiful. 

Everything began to fade, and I smiled. It was over. 

Gee POV

I drove over to Frank's apartment, even though he had just barely left. Whether he liked it or not, I was going to protect him. I felt a guilt like I had never experienced before, causing so much pain to one so innocent. I could tell he was crushed. 

Parking quickly, I threw open my car door, slamming it hard as I jogged up to Frank's front apartment. Something felt wrong. I looked around and knew I was alone, but something just wasn't right. "Frank, it's Gerard," I called through the door. "I know you are mad at me and probably scared of me, but I promise not to hurt you. Please, let me in so I can keep you safe."

There was no angry rant, no whimper, no nothing in response. I began to get worried. What if they had gotten to him already? I tried the door handle and found it unlocked. I braced myself as I slowly opened the door, finding the room empty. I was about to leave and go looking for Frank when I noticed the bathroom light was on, shining through the crack under the door. He had to be in there. 

I took a deep breath and opened the door, choking on my tears. There was Frank, my beautiful sweet Princess, laying in a pool of his own blood, with huge gashes on his wrists still trickling out more. Immediately I got down on the ground and pulled him into my lap, my tears dripping onto his lifeless body. "No Frankie no!" I cried. "Please baby, come back to me."

His eyes fluttered slightly as he glanced up at me, but fell closed again in defeat. I pulled out my phone and called 911, an operator assuring me help was on the way. I used my jacket to try and stop the bleeding as best as I could while my body racked with sobs. The paramedics arrived shortly and took my broken Frankie from my arms, and I stood there numb as I watched the ambulance pulled away, covered in the blood of the one I was supposed to protect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me! I promise things will get better for them! Kudos and comments much appreciated!!! Love you amazing motherfuckers who are actually reading this shit xxx

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated!  
> You can contact me at proudofthescarsxo@gmail.com for questions, collabs, or just fucking boredom!


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